Well I guess it’s not really subconscious since I’m aware of it but the fact that I can’t control it makes the term appropriate right?
Yea, I think so. I mean why is my brain not allowing me to see the good? Well I know why but still…I’m usually good at controlling my thoughts.
I guess after certain things happen, your subconscious just stops listening to what your conscious wants.
Staying friends with an ex and friend who are dating each other is the most frustrating thing.
More positive thinking.
I want the focus of this month to about thinking/acting more positively. They say your attitude determines your altitude. So this month I want to believe that I can do anything, strive for it, take chances, make a fool of myself and not be afraid of failure.
I’ve actually stopped putting in effort. If someone needs me in their life, they’ll initiate the effort and I’ll reciprocate.
So I just got back from my second visit to Central since I graduated in May and I must say, I never thought I’d miss that school. Every time I go there, I feel home again; it’s such a nice feeling ya know? Going back to the place you’ve spent the last 4 years of your life at and the staff recognizing you and showing how much they loved having you at the school. *Sigh* it just makes me feel all good inside.
I can’t wait until I get enough money and time to actually show them how much I appreciate them and what an impact they’ve made in my life.
Stupidity…or is it ignorance?
I’m so stupid. All the signs were there but I chose to ignore them, and now I’m suffering the consequences. Ignorance is not bliss.
So I’ve decided to go natural…again. The reason I said again is because about 2 years ago, I tried to go natural; it lasted about 7 months and because of my mom being so non-supportive, I got discouraged and gave up. Well this time I’m sticking to it! I’m not going to do the BC because I love my long hair too much. I’ll just be trimming it little by little. I’m kind of excited and since my “twin” and my really close friend are going on this journey with me, it’s going to be quite fun! Well that is all, adios :)
My heart is aching…
…and all because I don’t want to give up on something that may become my everything.